My Story on Marriage Equality
Hello, I’m Rev. Gator Lone Wolf and I’m an ordained Baptist minister who is also gay/two spirit. I’m proud of who I am and value and affirm all people for who there are created to be by The Creator. I am from Greenwood, South Carolina originally and now live in Louisville, Kentucky. I’ve been an advocate of civil rights and marriage equality for a quite some time.
Dominique and I met each other eleven years ago here in Louisville, Ky. I am from the Deep South while Dominique is from Indiana. In The Creator’s own divine and mysterious way, we crossed each other’s path and fell in love. My father, an ordained Baptist minister, married us in a church ceremony on June 3rd, 2006. Although we couldn’t receive a marriage license and still can’t due to Kentucky’s 2004 ban prohibiting marriage for same-sex couples, it was very important for us to be married in the church. Our commitment to each other before The Creator is very sacred to us.
Since that time, we endured the oppressive effects of discrimination that so many other same-sex couples have. We were unable to file taxes jointly and can’t enjoy the tax benefits that come with legal marriage. When buying our home, we had to look specifically for a realtor that would protect our interests as a same-sex couple since we experienced discrimination at several agencies. These are only a few of the issues we’ve faced because there are almost 1,400 rights and benefits that come with legal marriage that we and other same-sex couples are denied.
This degrading system of legalized homophobia is something we’ve endured our entire lives. Although Dominique and I were making strides for equality within our community and church, the stinging indignation of marriage inequality was becoming too much for us to remain complacent any longer. In January of 2013, there was a shocking case of discrimination at a local hospital where one of the members of the ministry I lead was denied the right to see his partner of five years who was dying because the staff didn’t consider him family. It was only when another family member showed up later that night that he learned his partner had died three hours earlier while he had sat unaware in the waiting room. This brother called me in tears, asking me what we could do to stop this evil that had robbed him of sharing the last moments of his partner’s life with him. Dominique and I immediately knelt in prayer and asked The Creator to lead us to a form of action that would peacefully demonstrate not only the sanctity of same-sex love but also our refusal to remain silent accomplices to our own discrimination.
The Creator placed it on our hearts to hold a faith leader rally for marriage equality in front of the Jefferson County Courthouse on January 22nd, 2013 and then to apply for a marriage license. We needed to create public awareness around the reality of the discrimination same-sex couples face. Following the rally, Dominique and I entered the County Clerk’s office accompanied by church friends and media. We peacefully requested a marriage license and the clerk said she couldn’t give us one because we were a same-sex couple. I told her that we were not mad at her since she was just doing her job but that we were spiritually obligated to sit down in the office and not move as a form of nonviolent resistance against this discrimination. We all sat quietly and prayed until the office closed and the police were called.
One of the policemen came into the office and ordered all of the media and our friends to go out into the hall. He sat down in front of us and gave Dominique and me two options. First, we could get up and leave and he’d write us both a citation for trespassing. On other hand, if we refused to get up and leave, they would arrest us and we’d be charged with trespassing. I remember him looking at me and asking, “What will it be Reverend? It’s your choice.” I took Dominique’s hand in mine and replied, “Officer, for us there is no choice. We’re spiritually obligated to stay.” In our hearts, we knew we had to remain seated for all of those same-sex couples across the country who’re denied their rights and for whatever reason have no voice to cry out against it. With The Great Spirit guiding us, we were arrested.
A jury later found us guilty of the charge of trespassing but something incredible happened. Here we were, two gay men, me even a Baptist minister, being tried before a jury in the southern state of Kentucky for trespassing on government property in response to being denied the right to a marriage license. The jury could’ve fined us up to $250 each but instead the jury chose to fine us each a penny, the lowest amount possible! It was a moral victory in every sense and we believe The Creator had stirred the souls of the jurors. They understood why we had to remain seated in that office after being denied a marriage license.
In June of 2013, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) was unconstitutional. Dominique and I immediately met with the Fauver Law Office here in Louisville and began planning a federal suit against the state of Kentucky for denying us our civil right to a marriage certificate. We felt we were in a position to not only fight for our own personal right to marry but also for all the other same-sex couples in Kentucky who couldn’t marry. We’ve NEVER saw this struggle as just about us.
Our suit was filed against the state on 2/14/2014 along with another couple, Tim Love and Larry Ysunza, who’d also been denied a marriage certificate from the clerk’s office. Federal District Judge John Heyburn ruled in our favor but Kentucky governor Steve Beshear appealed the decision to the 6th District Federal Court. Judge Heyburn’s decision was struck down at the 6th District and our case, along with the Bourke case calling for Kentucky to recognize same-sex marriages performed outside of the state, were in limbo. While all of the plaintiffs were very disappointed, many of us had faith that The Creator wasn’t done helping us and we were right.
Our attorneys immediately began working to place our cases before the Supreme Court and in January of this year, SCOTUS announced they would hear the Kentucky cases, along with others from the 6th District on April 28th. We were elated and in the midst of the celebrating, Dominique and I continued to praise The Creator for leading us each step of the way. There’s no doubt in our mind that the case would have come this far without The Great Spirit working through us and others in this struggle. We know that freedom is on its way for all same-sex couples because no matter how impossible something may seem, with The Creator it becomes possible!
As I officiate marriages, I do so with a deep reverence for the covenant of love that serves as foundation of two individuals’ commitment to each other and to The Creator. Although the civil aspect of marriage is very important, as a minister I believe that a couple’s love for each other is born from The Creator and that a marriage is properly blessed and consecrated through a spiritual ceremony. That being said, I do perform both civil and religious marriages and/or ceremonies as requested by a couple.